Travvelsized Timetravel

 First off, I have to admit that I won’t be handing out instructions on how to build a time machine in this post. I WILL however, let you in on how to time travel WITHOUT one!

When pretty much anyone on the entire planet travels (myself included), it’s assumed that the traveller is looking to cross space, not time. However, if you cross enough space, you tend to cross some time as well. So, if you’re looking to save money on your next time travelling vacation, check out these 3 tips:

1)    Skype someone in a different time zone. Guaranteed your conversation will not only start with the obligatory “Can you see me..? No, can you at least hear me..? No? I’ll just re-start Skype and see if that works…! Okay, now we’re on! So tell me, are you forward or backward in time from me?” (Just a hint, if you’re in British Columbia, Canada like me, you’re backward in time and in the past

  1. Cheat: this is especially awesome for New Year’s Eve, through the help of Skype, I celebrated the countdown 3 times in one year (so technically, I live in the future in 2016) by chiming into Australia, Ontario and my own New Year in BC

2)    Actually visit a different time zone. Spending an antire day on a plane is enough for me to lose track of time even if it was flowing at a normal rate, so I’ve found the best way to time travel like this is to move from Singapore to Malaysia or Indonesia. Singapore is an hour ahead of the rest of the time zone because it’s literally trying to keep up with Hong Kong, Taiwan and Beijing. This way, if you take a bus / boat off the island, you immediately go back in time by a whole hour!

3)    Work the night shift. This is part of my job at Big White, so I can tell you a bit about it before you interject with “but how do you stay awake all night all the time?” (The answer being: by sleeping during the day). As the most difficult (and effective) way to time travel, it takes some getting used to, but once mastered, you can live in a constant alternate reality which is half a day ahead of everyone else! With this, I get paid to make psychic snow predictions for the up coming day (which you can see online at http://www.bigwhite.com/mountain-info/mountain-reports/daily-snow-report/)

My sunrise is everyone else's sunset: I fight the urge to instagram this to death everyday #nofilter

My sunrise is everyone else’s sunset: I fight the urge to instagram this to death everyday #nofilter

  1. Cheat: working nights isn’t actually as hard as you may think! I’ve drawn up a nice table (because I just kind of love making tables) to show the pros and cons of the job:

Night Shift Pros

Night Shift Cons

Being able to make the hill for first lift (best time to ski because the snow is super fresh and everyone is still asleep) EVERYDAY without being tired Never being able to go night riding (worst time to ski because the runs are super tracked and only 5 are still open) at 5pm because you’re asleep
Watching the sunrise on the way back from work everyday Apparently there’s this thing called a “sunset”. (Everyone sees it, way too mainstream)
Watching people walk groggily to their “early morning” shift as you walk home Watching other people go to sleep as you get ready for work
Eating breakfast at midnight everyday because its your morning Midnight is your morning
Eating breakfast for dinner because its actual morning Morning is your evening
Basically just waffles, all day e’ry day! THERE ARE NO CONS TO WAFFLES
Hilarious encounters with intoxicated people at 3am Being awake but not intoxicated at 3am
When people ask “what time / day is it?” you don’t need to know the answer because “I work nights, time has no meaning” Time has no meaning
As an entry level ski resort job, you’re guaranteed 40h a week, even when the resort is empty and everyone else is lucky to get 1 shift You work at night
You always know you’re schedule in advance and never have to work split shifts The shifts you do work are at night
Never needing to know what time / day it is because you can rebuttal with “I work nights! I’m on a totally different schedule” Never knowing what time / day it is
This is actually what my face looks like in real life now

This is actually what my face looks like in real life now

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